Please read and let me know if have any advice for me on this problem. I would still like to reconcile this marriage. Even though this is the third time she has cheated on me. Let’s talk about your views and maybe I can then figure out what to do. I found out about his on the 17th, after constantly asking her if she was cheating, she finally said yes. I visited this last weekend, as I do every weekend. My wife and I went and talked to a pastor for his views. The rest of the weekend was pretty good, but this is still hard and weighs on my mind when I am away, here in Austin TX. All of y text is under glastron. This page contains a post from myspace, the next 3 emails will contain posts from other sections of love and relationships, on the same subject. Sorry for all the text, maybe we can just talk about if you do not want to read all this
Posted: Apr 17, 2006 2:03 PM
Howdy, this weekend I was informed that I guy my wife was talking to, is also screwing her. My wife totally denies it. I talk with the guy to get all the details I could, so I could better confront my wife. We have three kids, and are currently separated but I travel to her house every weekend to be with her and the kids. All of the details I get from him seem accurate ie. her house, were the kids would be, when, where, even what she might look like naked. He was pretty close in all aspects that his statements are correct. How do I get her, to tell me the truth? I thought we were working on the relationship and would soon be back together. This is not the first time for either of us to be unfaithful. But for the most part told each other about it. This time she is not. The first time she told me, she i think was black maled with it being on tape .Who to believe? The guy said that if we are trying to work it out and love each other he would step off. But how do I do that if she will not be honest with me. What to do, please help...
^v^ TrAgEdy ^v^
Dear ^v^ TrAgEdy ^v^,
Thanks for providing your question and some background on your situation. It seems as if you and your wife have been through a great deal together.
You stated that you both cheated in the past, how did you both find out? How did you decide to stay together? What made you think things would change?
Cheating on a spouse is a sign that things are not right in the relationship - one (or both) partners is looking for something to avoid pain, hurt, and other emotions that may arise. Cheating and lying are signs of disrespect - it is clear that this is an issue that must be worked on in your relationship.
If your wife is not willing to commit to you and the marriage, then you have many factors to work out before working on my following advice.
If both you and your wife are committed to your marriage, I feel that talking with a Professional (such as a pastor) is a smart move. Therapists and other Professionals are experts at helping people work through problems and coming up with a solution. There are many factors that both your wife and you need to be devoted to - TRUST, RESPECT, FIDELTY and COMMUNICATION. Without these factors, I cannot see you or your wife being happy in your marriage.
One thing you might start with to work on your marriage is Trust. This will be extremely hard to do, but without this, what is the point to being devoted to another person? If you want to stay married to your wife, you must learn to trust her again. The two of you have to communicate and find out what issues are going on for both of you (individually and together).
This will be a long process for you both - but if the commitment is there, I am sure the two of you will figure out your solutions.
Posted: Apr 17, 2006 2:03 PM
Howdy, this weekend I was informed that I guy my wife was talking to, is also screwing her. My wife totally denies it. I talk with the guy to get all the details I could, so I could better confront my wife. We have three kids, and are currently separated but I travel to her house every weekend to be with her and the kids. All of the details I get from him seem accurate ie. her house, were the kids would be, when, where, even what she might look like naked. He was pretty close in all aspects that his statements are correct. How do I get her, to tell me the truth? I thought we were working on the relationship and would soon be back together. This is not the first time for either of us to be unfaithful. But for the most part told each other about it. This time she is not. The first time she told me, she i think was black maled with it being on tape .Who to believe? The guy said that if we are trying to work it out and love each other he would step off. But how do I do that if she will not be honest with me. What to do, please help...
^v^ TrAgEdy ^v^
Dear ^v^ TrAgEdy ^v^,
Thanks for providing your question and some background on your situation. It seems as if you and your wife have been through a great deal together.
You stated that you both cheated in the past, how did you both find out? How did you decide to stay together? What made you think things would change?
Cheating on a spouse is a sign that things are not right in the relationship - one (or both) partners is looking for something to avoid pain, hurt, and other emotions that may arise. Cheating and lying are signs of disrespect - it is clear that this is an issue that must be worked on in your relationship.
If your wife is not willing to commit to you and the marriage, then you have many factors to work out before working on my following advice.
If both you and your wife are committed to your marriage, I feel that talking with a Professional (such as a pastor) is a smart move. Therapists and other Professionals are experts at helping people work through problems and coming up with a solution. There are many factors that both your wife and you need to be devoted to - TRUST, RESPECT, FIDELTY and COMMUNICATION. Without these factors, I cannot see you or your wife being happy in your marriage.
One thing you might start with to work on your marriage is Trust. This will be extremely hard to do, but without this, what is the point to being devoted to another person? If you want to stay married to your wife, you must learn to trust her again. The two of you have to communicate and find out what issues are going on for both of you (individually and together).
This will be a long process for you both - but if the commitment is there, I am sure the two of you will figure out your solutions.
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