 |
Thursday, April 20, 2006
{
Priority-Advice: Problems Prioritizing
}
Jill- I'm having difficulty deciding what my priorities are. I seem to want it all. I would really like to spend some time to go and travel the world and learn new things about myself and other people; but at the same time, I want to settle down and get married to my boyfriend (who I love to pieces). My dream would be to go and study abroad in Latin America for 3 months next year (that way I will gain proficiency in speaking Spanish and also learn more about the Latin American culture). However, that would mean 3 months away from my boyfriend, family, and friends. My boyfriend has recently gone away for an extended period of time (for the military) and for the 2 weeks he's been gone it's felt like 2 months... I'm exhausted. So, I guess my questions are: How can I determine what I REALLY want?? How will I know if I can take being away from my support system for 3 months?? Thanks for any advice you can give!
Dear Problems Prioritizing,
For your first question - one good way to go about figuring out what you REALLY want is to think: "what will I regret if I don't do it?"
If you do not travel now, before you are married and settled, will you regret not going? Will you ever have this opportunity again? Also, if your boyfriend is away for an extended period of time, maybe this is the right time to go away. There are many clichés that would work here (for example: distance makes the heart grow fonder).
Three months of time is not terribly long (in the whole scheme of life), both family and friends (and boyfriend) are probably unconditional relationships that would want to support you in all you do.
As far as marriage and being settled, is your boyfriend also considering that right now? If he is away from you at the moment, how will a marriage work? Assuming he is on the same page, do you think you may resent him later if you do not take the time to travel now?
As far as your second question - have you been away from family and friends before? If not, maybe it is a smart idea to do something independent before settling down. When people find themselves in situations that they are alone and far away from loved ones, you will find that you end up stronger in the end - and most likely have an amazing experience.
Regardless of what you decide, just make sure you won't regret your decision. Life is too short for that!
Labels: Priority-Advice
Wednesday, April 19, 2006
{
Sibling-Advice: Sympathetic Sis
}
Dear Jill,
My brothers both graduated college in 2004, and neither one has had a "real" job since.
One was a film student, and wants to work in the movie business. He was out in LA for six months doing a couple internships, but he hated the West Coast and moved back home with my parents, about an hour outside New York, and he's been going into the city for interviews, but hasn't had any luck.
My other brother graduated with a bachelor's in business, and wants to do something in marketing or promotions, probably for a sporting goods company. At Eastern Mountain Sports, he was told that he would have to work on the floor doing retail in order to get a job on the business side. He ended up working two winters renting skis for a sporting goods chain in Colorado. He was invited to stay the summer and work, and if he returns next year he is guaranteed a promotion. However, he opted to head back home to my parents' home and is now considering moving to Boston and finding a "real" job.
Do you have any advice for either of them, or me as their sister?
Thanks,
Sympathetic Sis
Dear Sympathetic Sis,
It seems as though your brothers are at a "stand still" with their careers. They are lucky to have a sister (and parents) to support them and care about them the way you do.
My advice for you is to remember, you cannot help someone who doesn't want to be helped. All you can do is be there for them, and encourage them to get their lives together. Sometimes people really do have plans going on without loved ones knowing about it.
As far as your brothers, they must make life happen for themselves. You might be able to help them network as well as be there for moral support, but you cannot get the job for them.
Perhaps your brother (who moved from Colorado) realized he did not want to start a career far from his family, and therefore moved back home?
I think you are being a wonderful sister who cares and supports for her brothers. Just keep encouraging them and remember - you cannot help someone who doesn't want to be helped.Labels: Sibling-Advice
Tuesday, April 18, 2006
{
Media-Advice: SpilltoJill.com on the XM Radio Show Broadminded!
}
Hello SpilltoJill Fans!
Tomorrow (Wednesday - 4/19) I (Jill) will be on the radio talking about SpilltoJill.com!!
The XM radio show - Broadminded - asked me to come on as an "Unbelievable Broad" after hearing about this website. Basically that means they will ask me questions and listeners are able to call in and ask questions as well. Check them out on their website: http://www.broadmindedbroads.homestead.com/
I will be on the show around 6pm EST and then it will re-air at 10pm EST.
It is channel 155 (Take 5 Radio). Labels: Media-Advice
{
Parental-Advice: Polite Parents
}
Dear Jill, I will soon be having my first child. This is of course a thrilling and exciting event for my husband and me however, it seems that everyone has an opinion about how to give birth and raise the child. While we have tried to be diplomatic, people refuse to move on from the subject unless we immediately agree with them. What is a polite way of saying "thanks but no thanks" to their input? Mind you this is not just friends and family it seems to be everyone. Signed the Parents
Dear Parents,
This is a very hard position you are in. I imagine there are times that you would like to lock yourselves inside the house and throw away the key! And while you are locked up, you know everyone who is giving you advice and suggestions means only to be helpful.
One way to go about this is to do the "nod and smile" approach. When others do give you suggestions, nod and smile, which will please them for that moment. When it comes down to it, only you and your husband are going to have a say in how you take care of and raise your child.
Others do not mean to overwhelm you or annoy you - I am sure they just offer suggestions because they care about you.
Good luck with the little one on the way!
Labels: Parental-Advice
Monday, April 17, 2006
{
Friend-Advice: Photo Frenzy!
}
I have a girlfriend that takes too many pictures. Everytime I turn around
I see flashes of light. It has caused me to go blind in one eye and I
have nightmares that everyone is trying to take my picture....... and
I'm not even a moviestar!!!
Jill HELP!!!! What can I do???
Dear - What can I do:
Thanks for asking for advice. You should feel flattered that your girlfriend wants to take pictures of you - she probably just wants to cherrish the time she spends with you:) Labels: Friend-Advice
|
 |
