Spill * to * Jill

Wednesday, May 03, 2006

{ Dating-Advice: ::Fingers Crossed:: }

One day I was perusing Craigslist.com when I came across a link to a website of a woman who has an advice column. I didn't think much of it until I started reading her responses and I saw her picture. As if her wit and intelligence were not enough to intrigue me, I went on to notice that she has gorgeous red hair and brown eyes. My question is if I wanted to propose a night of dining at a resturant of her choice, how should I go about doing it?

Thanks,

::Fingers Crossed::

Thank you for your email.

I am flattered by your letter, but the website (spilltojill.com) is for questions about the lives of people who may need advice. I am not in the position to accept any such offers for personal relations.

I hope all goes well for you, and please feel free to write in with any questions you may need advice to.

--
Jill Warner
www.spilltojill.com (advice site)

Thanks for the reply, but isn't there kind of a legitimate question here?. I'm sure some people may be able to relate to this.

Dear ::Fingers Crossed::,

As you asked a question in your latest email to me, I figured I would answer you. You do have a legitimate question - however - I felt the question was more personal (to me) than Professional. Regardless, I have decided to answer your question. I am going to answer from a non-biased position, as usual.

If you are to propose a night of dining at a resturant of her choice you should first find out more about this person. Make sure to do your homework. Is she single? Would she be interested in your gender (heterosexual versus homosexual, etc)? Does she live near you? If not, would she be interested in meeting someone far away? Would she at all be interested? Ways to do your homework is to see if she has other websites, blogs and/or communities. If she does have other websites, blogs or communities - try to find out the answers to the questions above. Many sites (such as myspace.com or friendster.com) ask for a person's status and provides that on their profile page. If you cannot find any information on this person, go ahead and email her. Try to get to know her through email or IM.

Once you get to know her (and she appears to be single and interested), ask her out (but don't freak her out) in a calm and casual sort of way. Once you are friends, begin to woo her with your charm. If she appears to be attached and/or not interested, don't bother wasting your own time. Keep looking as there are plenty of great women out there!

Labels: Dating-Advice

Sunday, April 30, 2006

{ Love-Advice: ^v^ TrAgEdy ^v^, }

Please read and let me know if have any advice for me on this problem. I would still like to reconcile this marriage. Even though this is the third time she has cheated on me. Let’s talk about your views and maybe I can then figure out what to do. I found out about his on the 17th, after constantly asking her if she was cheating, she finally said yes. I visited this last weekend, as I do every weekend. My wife and I went and talked to a pastor for his views. The rest of the weekend was pretty good, but this is still hard and weighs on my mind when I am away, here in Austin TX. All of y text is under glastron. This page contains a post from myspace, the next 3 emails will contain posts from other sections of love and relationships, on the same subject. Sorry for all the text, maybe we can just talk about if you do not want to read all this

Posted: Apr 17, 2006 2:03 PM

Howdy, this weekend I was informed that I guy my wife was talking to, is also screwing her. My wife totally denies it. I talk with the guy to get all the details I could, so I could better confront my wife. We have three kids, and are currently separated but I travel to her house every weekend to be with her and the kids. All of the details I get from him seem accurate ie. her house, were the kids would be, when, where, even what she might look like naked. He was pretty close in all aspects that his statements are correct. How do I get her, to tell me the truth? I thought we were working on the relationship and would soon be back together. This is not the first time for either of us to be unfaithful. But for the most part told each other about it. This time she is not. The first time she told me, she i think was black maled with it being on tape .Who to believe? The guy said that if we are trying to work it out and love each other he would step off. But how do I do that if she will not be honest with me. What to do, please help...

^v^ TrAgEdy ^v^

Dear ^v^ TrAgEdy ^v^,

Thanks for providing your question and some background on your situation. It seems as if you and your wife have been through a great deal together.
You stated that you both cheated in the past, how did you both find out? How did you decide to stay together? What made you think things would change?

Cheating on a spouse is a sign that things are not right in the relationship - one (or both) partners is looking for something to avoid pain, hurt, and other emotions that may arise. Cheating and lying are signs of disrespect - it is clear that this is an issue that must be worked on in your relationship.

If your wife is not willing to commit to you and the marriage, then you have many factors to work out before working on my following advice.

If both you and your wife are committed to your marriage, I feel that talking with a Professional (such as a pastor) is a smart move. Therapists and other Professionals are experts at helping people work through problems and coming up with a solution. There are many factors that both your wife and you need to be devoted to - TRUST, RESPECT, FIDELTY and COMMUNICATION. Without these factors, I cannot see you or your wife being happy in your marriage.

One thing you might start with to work on your marriage is Trust. This will be extremely hard to do, but without this, what is the point to being devoted to another person? If you want to stay married to your wife, you must learn to trust her again. The two of you have to communicate and find out what issues are going on for both of you (individually and together).

This will be a long process for you both - but if the commitment is there, I am sure the two of you will figure out your solutions.

Labels: Love-Advice