I have this guy friend at school and we went out two times last year but it didn't work out. Now we are best friends. The thing is that we hang out all of the time and I like him. Everyone says that we flirt alot and we should just go out. I would like to go back out with him but I am afraid things will be the same when we went out before and he will be to shy and nervous to talk to me like last time. Right now we are best friends and we do flirt alot like we always sit by eachother (touching), he lets me wear his watch, and he gives me compliments. Should he stay a best friend of should we try again?

Raquel


Dear Raquel,

It sounds like the two of you may have a huge attraction to each other. Shyness and nervousness sometimes go away with maturity. Since you two are already so close, not much might change in your relationship, except you will be able to allow yourselves more flirting and touching:)

If you do not date him again, will you always wonder, "What if"?
The answer to that question should be able to help you make a decision.

Good Luck!
Jill

Labels: Love-Advice

Name Kelly
Subject cheating husband

my husband of 4 years has recently confessed to passionatly kissing another women 3 years ago on my sisters husbands stag nite i dont know how to react as it was a long time ago but i still feel betrayed what should i do please help xx

Dear Kelly,

I think it makes sense that you feel betrayed - on a few different levels.
First he betrayed you by being intimate with another person - which is never a good thing.
Then he chose to not tell you about this for 3 years. Some may say that is lying - others may not.

There are some missing details that may affect my advice.
Did your husband apologize? Did he explain why he waited so long to tell you? And why now? Does he have remorse?

There are also many questions that you should ask yourself to try and make a little more sense of this all. Do you consider your marriage and relationship to your husband good? Do you (or have you in the past) have intimate conversations together - has this changed recently?

Once you can get some of these answers - and then reflect upon them - you will be able to make some decisions - decisions that may be hard, but will help you in the long run.

Good luck Kelly!

-Jill

Labels: Love-Advice

Please read and let me know if have any advice for me on this problem. I would still like to reconcile this marriage. Even though this is the third time she has cheated on me. Let’s talk about your views and maybe I can then figure out what to do. I found out about his on the 17th, after constantly asking her if she was cheating, she finally said yes. I visited this last weekend, as I do every weekend. My wife and I went and talked to a pastor for his views. The rest of the weekend was pretty good, but this is still hard and weighs on my mind when I am away, here in Austin TX. All of y text is under glastron. This page contains a post from myspace, the next 3 emails will contain posts from other sections of love and relationships, on the same subject. Sorry for all the text, maybe we can just talk about if you do not want to read all this

Posted: Apr 17, 2006 2:03 PM

Howdy, this weekend I was informed that I guy my wife was talking to, is also screwing her. My wife totally denies it. I talk with the guy to get all the details I could, so I could better confront my wife. We have three kids, and are currently separated but I travel to her house every weekend to be with her and the kids. All of the details I get from him seem accurate ie. her house, were the kids would be, when, where, even what she might look like naked. He was pretty close in all aspects that his statements are correct. How do I get her, to tell me the truth? I thought we were working on the relationship and would soon be back together. This is not the first time for either of us to be unfaithful. But for the most part told each other about it. This time she is not. The first time she told me, she i think was black maled with it being on tape .Who to believe? The guy said that if we are trying to work it out and love each other he would step off. But how do I do that if she will not be honest with me. What to do, please help...

^v^ TrAgEdy ^v^


Dear ^v^ TrAgEdy ^v^,

Thanks for providing your question and some background on your situation. It seems as if you and your wife have been through a great deal together.
You stated that you both cheated in the past, how did you both find out? How did you decide to stay together? What made you think things would change?

Cheating on a spouse is a sign that things are not right in the relationship - one (or both) partners is looking for something to avoid pain, hurt, and other emotions that may arise. Cheating and lying are signs of disrespect - it is clear that this is an issue that must be worked on in your relationship.

If your wife is not willing to commit to you and the marriage, then you have many factors to work out before working on my following advice.

If both you and your wife are committed to your marriage, I feel that talking with a Professional (such as a pastor) is a smart move. Therapists and other Professionals are experts at helping people work through problems and coming up with a solution. There are many factors that both your wife and you need to be devoted to - TRUST, RESPECT, FIDELTY and COMMUNICATION. Without these factors, I cannot see you or your wife being happy in your marriage.

One thing you might start with to work on your marriage is Trust. This will be extremely hard to do, but without this, what is the point to being devoted to another person? If you want to stay married to your wife, you must learn to trust her again. The two of you have to communicate and find out what issues are going on for both of you (individually and together).

This will be a long process for you both - but if the commitment is there, I am sure the two of you will figure out your solutions.

Labels: Love-Advice

3 weeks after i got married, I started cheating on the love of my life??? And almost 2 years later I'm still doing it. I love two men now. And I devoted a blog to it.


Dear Moonlighting Mrs.,

If your husband is/was the love of your life, why did you begin cheating? And why so soon after getting married?

One idea to the reason you have fallen in love with two men is that you have a fear of committment. This fear may be subconscious and therefore you are not aware of this. If this is the case, the affair may provide a sense of freedom - a thrill and excitement. The reason you may have a fear of committment may be due to being abandoned by a parental figure as a child (such as divorce, death, seperation, etc).

If you want this behaviour to stop - you must be true to yourself first. The only way to have a lasting marriage is to be honest with yourself and your husband. You may not be ready to tell him the truth, but what you are doing is showing him little respect.

Blogging is a great way to let go some of the different types of anxiety and frustration this situation may cause. Journaling is therapy in itself. It may also be wise to talk to someone (if you are not already doing this), such as a Counselor, Therapist, Religious Counselor (such as Priest, Rabbi, etc), and/or another professional who is trained to talk with people. If you have not ever been to a therapist (or other Professional), it may be frightening at first - but is worthwhile in the long run. It takes many sessions to really begin to understand yourself and actions with the help of a therapist.

My advice is to decide what you truly want, and then go after it. In doing this, do not disrespect others by lying or cheating - instead be honest with yourself and the others involved. It may hurt in the near future, but in the long run you will feel better.

Labels: Love-Advice